Not my will Lord, but YOUR will be done

The hardest thing to do in life is to not be self-centered. Even when we do great works for the Kingdom of God, most times it's for selfish reasons. I'm at a turning point in my life and walk with Christ. He's challenging me to walk with him in spirit and in truth. But, can I really handle the truth? Am I really ready to walk in His awesome light? I've prayed and asked the Lord to show me how to love like He loves and to feel like He feels. But do I understand what that really means? I don't know.

We are living in the "last days", as the older saints used to say. For a long time our generation now has not put much thought in that. We don't put much thought into eternity and how we're going to spend it. We're consumed with thinking and living for temporal things and not for the eternal. I believe that it's time for that to change. If we had a greater understanding of what was to come, we would spend more time living for Him than ourselves.

We have a great responsibility as children of the King, the body of Christ, to love one another and spread the Word of God! When we stand before Jesus as the righteous Judge, we will have to give an account of how we used our time, our words and deeds, and even our intentions to uplift the Kingdom. So, as i'm typing this, I am experiencing the Grace of God to do what he has called me to do on this Earth. There is nothing more important. I encourage you to seek Him for what he desires you to do in your life.

Not my will Lord, but your will be done!

My Mother's Day

Over the last 7 years, the Mother's day holiday has been bitter sweet for me. On June 30th, 2003, I lost my mom to a long bout with MS. If you don't know anything about multiple sclerosis, it is a debilitating disease that attacks the nervous system in your body. So for years, my mom couldn't do anything for herself. It didn't start bad, but over the years it gradually got worse and worse. If you knew my mom though, you would have never known. She had the gift of encouragement! Even in her situation, she chose to have joy!

I recall a time back in 1992, when my family took a road trip from Portland, OR to The Bay area in California to go to Magic Mountain theme park. It was a long trip, and at this point in my mothers health, she was now confined to a wheelchair, but she still had some of her motor skills. She could still speak and use her hands and arms pretty well. Her energy would run low and my Dad would have to assist her with going to the bathroom. Basically we had to stop a few times at motels so she could be comfortable when having to do that. As kids, we were growing impatient with all the stops, cuz we wanted to get to the rides!!! So when we finally get to Magic Mountain, we're having a blast, riding everything! This is when my mom did something that I will never forget. She decides she wants to get on the roller coaster!!! Now this is a woman who is confined to a wheelchair, dealing with a condition that is attacking her body. This is where she showed me that it's not about the condition of your body or your situation that matters, but the condition of your heart! She chose to be joyful no matter what! She was going to live her life to the fullest and enjoy everything God has blessed her with! Needless to say, she got on the ride and had a blast!! And of course as kids we loved it, cuz they let us at the front of the lines because of my mom!

So this Mother's day I'm going to choose to be joyful and reflect on how my Mom chose to be joyful in spite of her situation!

"These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full."

John 15:11

This Is How I Feel

Well, it's been a little over a month since my last post. It's not the easiest thing in the world for me to just sit down and write. I wish it was that easy. Expression of feelings for me is complicated. I can ponder in my head all day what I want to say to someone, but when I try to express it, it just doesn't come out right. There's times where I want to tell somebody off or really let them know how I feel, and I rehearse it in my brain over and over again, but when that moment comes, I freeze. Is it fear? Maybe so. I think of myself as a non-confrontational person. That could be a great asset some of the time, but sometimes, it allows people to take advantage of my kind nature. My biggest challenge for me is changing that characteristic of mine. Can you be nice and cut throat at the same time? How do I even start the process without hurting people? I guess that's something I need to find out. I do know that I need to not allow people to take advantage of my time, talent, and good nature. My future depends on it.

On a lighter note, tonight I will be playing a live session with Joe Pace. I've been rehearsing all week with a great group of musicians. It's always fun when I have great skilled musicians who understand how to work together. This is my first opportunity playing with Terry Baker. Terry is a phoenominal drummer! Very musical in his approach. Somebody asked me, "Have y'all played together before? Cuz y'all have a tight lock!" That was a great compliment for me! I feel that I can play with any drummer that has the right concept of playing drums! As a percussionist, I'm like the seasoning on a great steak! So, with that said, I can make any GOOD drummer sound GREAT! Bobby Sparks once told me, "The percussionist is supposed to make the people dance!" And that's what I try to do every time I play!

It's My Birthday!

Today marks a new chapter in my life. God has blessed me to see my 30th birthday. It doesn't even seem like I'm 30. I remember when I just turned 21 and thinking I was grown! Boy was I wrong! I can say that I have grown a lot since then. In my 20's, I most certainly made some stupid decitions that I wish I could have avoided, but looking back, I needed to make those bad ones to know what not to do!
This birthday marks a new era in my life. God is taking me to new heights I never dreamed that I could go! This day is most definitely a new birth!

I often pictured in my mind where I would be and what I would be doing when I turned 30. God's plan was different, but better than I could have ever dreamed! I'm so grateful to have the greatest wife I could ever have (Laneshia) and the best daughter in the world (Aveyona)! I wouldn't be the man I am today without them. I have a wonderful support system in my life. Great family, friends, pastors and church family. I want to thank everyone who supported me at my (almost) surprise party! My wife went above and beyond to show me how much she loves me. I was overwhelmed by the love!

I'm excited for the next chapter in my life. I know God has good plans for me!

Darius

Back to Basics

I had the most awesome experience last week! I had the opportunity to travel down to San Antonio, TX to help my friend Nina Rodriguez with her Unlock The Rhythm program. She invited me to play djembe, along with her and Joey Gonzales, in an event for the San Antonio ISD. The experience for me was life changing! Seeing the joy that the drums and rhythm give to individuals is very gratifying. I am truly blessed to be able to play drums for a living. Nina pointed out to me that I was smiling ear to ear during the whole show! I was having sooooooooo much fun! I really love playing.

For a long time, I had forgotten how much I loved playing. It's funny, because I never stopped, but I had allowed other things in my life take over the passion that I have for the drum. I guess you can say that the rhythm had slowed down or stopped within me. This trip released that dormant beat within me though! I guess I didn't know I was going down there to "Unlock The Rhythm!" I even had the privilege to have a private lesson with percussion great Fausto Cuevas. He is a graduate of Berklee College of music, master teacher and currently touring with Stevie Wonder. I can't even begin to tell you how this changed my life! For a long time, I was just playing a lot without someone better than me teaching me what I was doing well or doing wrong. I had hit a ceiling in my development. But let me tell you, the ceiling exploded after this lesson! He took me back to the basics. He put me back on the right road to the next level. My hunger for getting better has been unleashed. I am determined to be the best God has called me to be!

I want to thank Nina for the invitation to play with her and the urging of me coming early to meet with Fausto. My life will never be the same!

Darius

Perception

This is my first crack at doing a blog. I do not normally do thing like this, but I have been urged by my wife to start. So, in saying that, this might not be real long.

On March 17th this year, I will be celebrating my 30th birthday. And with all confidence I can say that I am just now learning who I really am. I'm starting to see myself now as God sees me. I couldn't see that for a long time. I have a bad habit of trying to be that guy who everyone likes. And in order to do that, sometimes you have to sell out who you really are. And doing that for so long, I had become blind to who I am. I'm thankful that my wife is patient with me, because she can see the real me, but it's frustrating to her when I don't. God has had to pull some things out of me lately that I didn't know I had. It hasn't felt all good, but I am standing on the Word that says,"And we know that all things work together for the good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." One thing that I have learned about myself is that I am a part of "The Called". God's word has been like a mirror to me as of late. I'm learning to trust in who God says I am rather than what other people say or think I am.